Some people are tagged emotional and some rational, but we must be both when decision-making is concerned.
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Emotions do not interfere in rational thinking. On the other hand, they help us to make better decisions and enjoy better relationships. That is because we all are driven by emotions as much as reason. Think what would happen if we leave out emotions and only live as rational beings. It will take away our humanity, our ability to feel for others, and others’ ability to feel for us. The quality of empathy, of shared emotions, is what makes us social.
Understanding, evaluating and using emotions needs to be a part of our thought process. It must be consciously used when dealing with conflicts, handling difficult conversations, and when making decisions. Many times, you will find that appealing to the emotional needs of a person will give you exceptional results than when solely depending on reason. Ideally, both emotions and reason must be used together to handle interpersonal relationships.
Each one of us has many emotional needs. It may be to be respected, loved, cared for, attended to, provided for, followed, or mentored. When you are in a relationship, be it professional or personal, you need to understand the emotional needs of the other person. It is difficult to understand all, but you may discover the ones that impact you or are being expressed by the other person frequently.
Fulfilling Emotional Needs
After identifying the emotional needs of a person, you need to decide:
- Which ones you can fulfill
- Which ones you want to fulfill
- How you can fulfill them
- How often should you fulfill them
Depending on the kind of relationship you have with the other person, you may create a system that best suits you and the other person. For example, if your team member at work gets offended by any kind of criticism, even constructive criticism, you need to continue with correcting your colleague but also begin to show that you like and respect him/her. You can do that by bringing them coffee, asking about their family, or cracking a joke with them. This positive reinforcement will help the person to feel more secure and less offended at being criticized.
Mix Up Positive and Negative
When evaluating and creating a plan to correct behaviors, you need to think about emotions rationally. When actually implementing your plan, you must also think and react emotionally. If you have a clear idea in your mind about what you must do to make your relationships with others better, you can then trust your emotions to guide you to the right path.
For correcting behaviors that are damaging a relationship, you need to offer both positive and negative feedback. Positive feedback such as praise, motivation, or rewards helps a person to feel valued and confident. Negative feedback such as criticism, corrections, or imposed discipline channels a person’s energy towards a more beneficial outcome. It makes a person see his/her own faults, and work on them.
When used together, it helps a person to feel good about himself/herself while being aware of his/her weaknesses. This, in turn, makes the person enthusiastic enough to limit the impact of their faults on others by making changes in their behavior.
Pdtraining delivers 1000’s of professional development courses each year in Atlanta, Baltimore, Boston, Charlotte, Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles, Manhattan, Miami, Orlando, Philadelphia, and Seattle, so you can be assured your training will be delivered by a qualified and experienced trainer.
All public Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Training courses include am/pm tea, lunch, printed courseware and a certificate of completion. Customized courses are available upon request, so please contact pdtraining on 855 334 6700 to learn more.